One More Try Page 5

  With Sadie out of the room for at least awhile, knowing she was going to be busy tracking down his friends and dealing with the current situation where his fans were likely attempting to blast through the hospital security, Jake managed to swallow his pain at the horrible news he’d received and tuck away the worry over the additional friends she was going to find for him and start planning his next course of action. With all the loss and all the things that had gone wrong, he wanted to make something right. He wanted to repair his karma and, hopefully, gain back something he never should have lost.

  He reached for the old-fashioned corded phone beside the bed, practically snarling at it, and dialed the operator, asking to be connected to a particular bloke who would be able to take care of his biddings. His financial advisor was going to crap bricks when Jake asked this favor of him, telling him it was a waste of good, solid investment money. But to Jake, there were much bigger, more important investments than monetary ones.

  Sometimes, the human spirit came first.

  It was what much of the motivation underlying the heavy beats and strong rhythms in his music were about. When people stopped and listened to the lyrics with more than an ear for pretty words, with the intention of finding the meaning, the band’s name became clear. Yes, they were Cryptic, and much of their musicality came from their poetic ability to really influence people with what couldn’t exactly be called subliminal messaging but came close to it. They weren’t like so many rock bands, simply stringing together words about loneliness and heartache and anger, with nothing to show for it. If they referenced an emotion in a song, they fully explained the cause and effect of that emotion, even if it wasn’t clear on the surface.

  Jake prided himself in wanting to be a positive influence on human nature. He could wear black, have chains hanging on his pants, paint his eyes like a vampire, and seem sinister and deadly onstage all day and all night, but underneath that fierce exterior, his true followers understood who and what he was. They weren’t violent because he referenced a violent feeling; they were more in tune with the source of those emotions and how to avoid acting on them. His followers were peaceful.

  Sadie had taught him, in one night, before the band had literally blown up and topped the charts, that there was enough good in this world to go around, and just the image of her in his mind over the last years and the thought of perhaps finding her again one day had done wonders for his soul. He could have fallen into that typecast position of the drug-induced lyrical rocker, or he could have started smashing hotel rooms and creating a bad reputation for himself and his band. But she made him want to impress her, to bring out the best in those around him. So, he’d clung to those moral principles and stood out among the crowd for it.

  He had so much to thank her for, and yet, he knew he’d barely scratched the surface of who she was and what she stood for. More than wanting to thank her, he craved her, wanted to know her better, to catch more than the glimpse he’d had of her soul that one magical night.

  So, he argued for several long minutes with the money man, as Jake sarcastically called him, demanding that his requests be met to the letter, and hung up the phone in a frustrated rage. His anger stemmed from his own mistake, from having walked away from a woman that he should have offered the moon and stars if she would just come with him and let him be inspired by her. All in all, her life had turned out beautifully, he could tell. She was a caregiver, someone who shared the inspiration he’d fallen for with those who were in poor health or injured and truly needed it. She was the angel he’d imagined, and perhaps, for her sake, it had been better to walk out when he did.

  But to hear the way she felt toward him, and to have his heart break at her anger and hatred, he knew it had been a poor choice on his part. He didn’t like retrospect, not when it involved something so serious as a woman’s heart...and his own. Could things have been different? Could she have fallen in love with him and still been the incredible person she was today? Would he have been as famous? Would he have been happy?

  Only the fates could answer that, and they didn’t share that sort of information. In fact, only the fates knew now if he could make the amends he sought. And on that note, he needed one more thing from Sadie, immediately, before he let her go about her business. He buzzed the nurses’ station, hoping to get her but willing to settle anyone who could bring him a pen and some paper as the song formed in his head.

  Sadie stood in the doorway of the administrative office, listening to the debates of the doctor and the board members who held the fate of Jake, his bandmates, and the fans who were growing rowdier outside. Because several people were excited about the publicity and others spoke about the patients as if they were nothing more than numbers, Sadie insisted on sticking around and being the one who would take the release paperwork to Jake for his signature. She might not particularly want anything to do with him personally, but she’d be damned if he was going to turn into a paycheck when he was losing friends left and right.

  “We can use this opportunity to show not only the type of top-quality service we provide and the excellent medical advancement at our establishment, but also how well we handle security and keep privacy for our patients,” one old man pushed, sounding like he was handling retail merchandise. Sadie swore she saw dollar signs in his eyes. “It would be great for us, with more lucrative patients booking surgeries and other procedures here.”

  The administrator rubbed her forehead. “I understand that, but at the same time, it turns us into a commercial hospital, which will lead to people spreading rumors about this celebrity or that celebrity coming here for plastic surgery or a triple bypass. Then, we’ll be overrun with fans and have to double our security expenses.”

  “Which we’ll be able to afford with the types of patients that will seek us out,” the old man argued.

  Sadie stood up and crossed her arms, unwilling to listen to this crock of shit any longer. “Listen, I understand that a lot of doctors are in it for the money these days, but like the traditionalists, I got into the medical field to help people, not to pad my wallet. Most of my patients are grateful for that, much more than the privacy or the technology or anything else we offer. If you change this hospital into a place that draws celebrities and their fans, you’re going to lose the staff that literally chose to work at this establishment because of the level of human service and care it offers patients. Each of my patients has a name. I don’t identify them as a number or a bank account, and that’s the way this needs to stay.”

  A woman Sadie had never seen with a long, horse nose looked at her like she was something that had been scraped off the bottom of her heels. “I don’t know what any of this has to do with the current situation. We have an opportunity to put ourselves in the spotlight, and all we need is a signature from three or four people who should be more than accommodating, since we’ve kept their secret so long. Besides, it’s their fans pushing at our door.”

  Her body buzzing with her anger, Sadie leveled her hands on her hips and turned to face the ugly woman, who likely had no friends or morals of her own with that attitude. “Fine, use our patients to your own gain. I guarantee you I will not be here after you do, and I’ll take at least a third of the nursing staff with me. Or, if you appreciate the work we do, you can be sensitive to people who are dying, people who have lost some of their best friends, and people who are seriously injured through no fault of their own, as well as their fans, and you can treat them like the human beings they really are.”

  The administrator’s face drained of color. Sadie wasn’t close to her, particularly, but the woman knew Sadie wasn’t kidding. She knew that most of the nurses who worked at the hospital really valued the personal touch and would do exactly what Sadie threatened and walk out if they didn’t handle this situation appropriately, with compassion and care. So Sadie simply stood there waiting for the final decision to be spoken, and to see these miserable, greedy people put out to pasture.

  With a heavy sigh, the
administrator rubbed the back of her neck. “I think it’s in our best interest to show our compassion as an administration and to give the fans a message of hope, as well as letting them know that their efforts are appreciated but that they are disrupting our ability to care for our patients by overrunning our parking lot.” She shuffled through some pages and nodded as she pulled one out. “This is the statement I want to go with. It’s vague about condition, with the exception of stating that Jake Donovan is well on the road to recovery and that the entire band, as well as our facility, appreciates their concern. It then asks them to kindly let us carry on with our patient care uninterrupted or distracted and to go home with their prayers and well wishes.”

  A younger man Sadie hadn’t noticed in the back of the office stepped forward. “I think that’s brilliant.” He had a British accent and the look of a publicist, who likely worked for the band. “I also think it might be helpful if we remind them of the fan club address, as well as set up a dedicated number to call with messages for the band members and their families. That would go a long way in making your administration look good, as your reputation seems to be your greatest concern.”

  Sadie appreciated the bitterness in his voice and the fact that the war waged here was won by the side for good. Too many times she saw this sort of situation turn out all wrong, and it was refreshing to know she had a little leverage, even if she was just a peon in the grand scheme of things. It at least meant she could keep some of them honest, or at least a semblance of such.

  With the paper that Jake needed to sign in hand, Sadie trekked back up the hall and took the elevator to the fourth floor, still sick to her stomach with the other information she’d be sharing with the man. She didn’t want to feel this way, didn’t want to care about Jake or really anyone. She wanted to be selfish and only deal with her job and her own personal life and goals. But she couldn’t help the compassion in her heart. She was just that kind of person, and now that she had to sit here and see Jake Donovan in his most vulnerable state, she had to acknowledge his humanity as much as her own.

  Her heart heavy, Sadie stepped into Jake’s room and found his hopeful gaze, which only served to make her hate an aspect of her career choice for the first time. She didn’t want to deliver more sadness to this man, anymore than she would have liked to give such news to anyone. But she’d taken an oath to care for her patients and took that seriously. In this case, part of caring for Jake was making sure he didn’t receive this kind of information from someone who didn’t appreciate human life. After all, the one thing she knew for certain about Jake Donovan was that he was vibrant and believed in living every moment of life to the fullest.

  “I see you have papers,” he stated, his voice hoarse, letting her know he suspected the worst news and wanted to avoid it. “Where do I sign?”

  She took a moment to assess him, thinking it odd he didn’t ask what the papers said. “There are two pages to sign, one to release the information about you and the other to release information about the band in general, since it’s your band.” She walked to the side of the bed. “I fought pretty hard to make sure they didn’t overstep their bounds and use you as a publicity stunt. I guess I’m just lucky the rest of the nursing staff has the same values I do because they gave me some leverage.”

  He smiled at her, and his gratitude seemed sincere as he reached for the paper and pen she offered. “I knew you would. You’ve got more heart than anyone I’ve met outside my band.” She blushed as he looked away and put his name to the dotted line. “I trust your judgment enough not to bother reading these.” He handed them back and she took them without making eye contact. She’d forgotten how poetic he could be, how good he was with words. Which, really, was a stupid thing to forget, considering that was part of the reason Cryptic topped the charts.

  “I just can’t see taking advantage of you and your friends and family to try to make this place look good. I think what makes a good administration is one that cares about their patients more than that.” She thought about it for a moment and decided to pull up the rolling stool next to his bed. “And on that note, I have the information you asked for, if you want.”

  His face registered first shock, which she was sure resulted from her taking a seat. She hadn’t made herself comfortable in his room before, since she wanted to make it clear she had no interest in him. But in this circumstance, she couldn’t help the emotions roiling inside, the sympathy and perhaps even empathy she felt for a man who cared so deeply about other people. She negated the fact that her own thoughts spoke volumes regarding the words he spoke when he told her how he felt about her. That was different, she told herself.

  But after the shock, his face fell, and Sadie hated being the bearer of this news. She could see him swallow as his Adam’s apple bobbed in his throat. “Tell me.”

  She nodded. “Your driver, Kent Carson, was dead on scene. I don’t have details on what exactly happened to him because his family hasn’t identified the body yet. David Rowan is conscious but heavily medicated. It looks like his spine was severed low on his back, and he’ll likely be paralyzed, but the doctors aren’t sure how much movement he’ll have. His brother, Michael, had a DNR, and when he his family presented the paperwork, he was taken off life support and passed on. He had severe brain trauma. I don’t know anything more about it.” Jake’s expression had become very hard and stoic, and Sadie wasn’t sure what to think about it.

  He didn’t say anything, and she waited but nothing changed. With a shuddering deep breath, she shook her head and reached out instinctively to take his hand. “I’m very sorry, Jake. I hate telling you these things, but I wouldn’t want someone to just come in here and spout off information like it’s a weather report.”

  He squeezed her hand and met her gaze, his eyes watery. It tore through her. “Thank you, Sadie. I wouldn’t want to hear it from anyone else.” Before she could think or protest, he tugged her forward, and his lips touched hers in the gentlest brush of a kiss. The shock value made her immobile, and she couldn’t pull away. She had to wait it out, until Jake pulled back, and when he did, the twinkle of hope in his eye sent guilt through her like a stab wound. “Jake, I...”

  He reached up and placed a finger over her lips to stop her from talking. “Don’t analyze anything. Just take it for what it’s worth, love. I owe you so much gratitude, for the way you’re caring for me now, for the way you enlightened me and gave me hope and something to live for then...” He trailed off, caressing her cheek. Sadie dropped her gaze, unable to look at him and listen to these pronunciations of his.

  Rather than yanking her hand away from him, she turned away slowly, drawing her fingers gently out of his. “I’m a good nurse, Jake. I pride myself on it.”

  “It’s more than that,” he argued sharply as she stood and started to walk away. It stopped her cold, and a chill ran down her spine. She wanted to refuse to listen but couldn’t make herself walk away as he continued. “You have feelings that never disappeared, Sadie. Even as angry as you are with me and as much as you want to believe I’m a monster who used you, I think you know better. And because you’ve built your success on top of your bitterness, you’re afraid to acknowledge the fact that I could very well be telling the truth and want nothing more than a second chance.”

  The accusation and honesty combined to make bile rise in her throat, and she nearly choked on it as she replied without turning around. “I can’t talk to you about this right now. I’ll come back and check on you in an hour or so.” She hurried out of the room before she rethought her words and practically ran down the hall toward the elevators so she could hand over the paperwork. She tossed it unceremoniously on the desk in front of the administrator before rushing to the bathroom, where she lost her lunch.

  Recovering quickly, she carried herself with her head high as she took a minute to stop by the break room and brush her teeth, but she spent several minutes staring at her reflection. She touched her lips, tentatively, sensing the tingl
ing left behind even now from the way he’d kissed her, barely a kiss but so much more. And even worse, it brought the memories of what had happened between them so long ago flooding back with a vengeance, and she couldn’t get the taste of his lips out of her head. She nearly brushed her teeth again, but rationally, she knew it wouldn’t do any good.

  On shaky legs, she returned to the nurse’s station and had a seat, flipping through all the notes she needed to input into the system but unable to concentrate. Instead, she found herself gazing down the hall toward Jake’s room, wondering just how much of his placation she was willing to accept as truth.

  What she really needed was space. With the whole distraction of this media circus that was about to happen, combined with old ghosts coming up from the past in a very in-your-face way, she worried she wouldn’t take the proper care of her other patients. If she wasn’t able to clear her head, she’d have no choice but to take a couple of days to herself to reconnect with the way she intended to live her life.

  “So, everyone’s got the head’s up and all the papers are signed.” Joan’s voice carried down the hall, arriving ahead of her and drawing Sadie’s attention. She sounded out of breath, and Sadie was grateful for her hustle and gave her a smile, even though her preoccupied thoughts made it difficult. As Joan approached and stood in front of the desk, leaning on the counter and looking tired, her eyes still twinkled. “Now, I did you a favor, and I’m not trying to use that as leverage, but I’d really like to ask you a favor in return.”

  Suddenly wary, Sadie scowled at her friend. The light in her eyes meant it was time to proceed with caution and not make any promises until she heard the request. “That depends on what the favor is.”